Monday, August 28, 2006

Give A $%#^$

As I sit and write this in a Public Library, I can't help but think...who would give a fuck? As many people that are suffering, why would any one give a rats ass about me. Because Im the same kid, that acts just as professional as you, but gets off 4 stops after you on the train, in a bad neighborhood, and wonders whats it like to get off on Wall St. or Jay St., knowing that I'm going home. For you to care, I would have to be of the same blood or next of kin, and chances are, im neither. Thats why I'm campaigning for a better life, It would be too much to ask anyone to give a fuck...that's why all I ask for is a buck.

Many poor souls feel that leaving their physical being would solve all their problems, I believe that there are good souls out there that help others in need, I have a family that cares about me, but unfortunately due to our inherited poverty, can't care FOR me. I'm on a Cal Ripken-like streak of bad holidays. Why look forward to something that's going to remind you that you're unable to obtain small material things that make you feel a part of society.

I wonder if Santa received my wish for a cell-phone....oh wait that was 5 years ago. Did the three kings bring anything with my name on it?...still waiting. Why noone pays attention or sees signs of a tortured soul? Well it's cause I try to work hard for mine, but my soul's weary, I'm a strong person, with too much integrity to show my face and pull a publicity stunt. For all those that donate, I will send them a personalized letter, along with a picture.

Where's faith?

When you believe in a higher spiritual being, you tend to have more patience than the next person, you sometimes can deal with loses or extreme situations with relative ease better than others, and sometimes don't even mind eating left over's all of a sudden. But in our minds which is controlled by "time" which is begin to wonder...when will faith intervene? Everything that goes around, comes I coming or going?

I came to New York before my 5th birthday, and to the best of my knowledge, I was a happy kid. SO happy in fact, that I grew up thinking I had it all...until I hit 12..and all of a sudden that new video game was not a priority. At this point in life, most look at not being able to buy something as a sign of parents not understanding...but to me it was a rude awakening; I was poor. It was not a coincidence that my neighborhood was ravaged, poor and crime riddled, this i would learn later, was the center of the biggest man-made disaster in the history of America...the hood.

Trying to make the best out of bad situations seems like the plot of my life. At 22, with hopes of graduating college, Im a role model in my community and with my family. Smile for a picture here...tell a little classroom story there...a future prospect. Inside that shield, lies an empty soul, that passes the days by letting the days pass. Food is at the top of the pyramid, followed by clothes...anything after that is..a blessing? With out any intervention from someone on this Earth, my life could very well change dramatically within mind is strong...but the millions these marketing corporations spend to target little ol me, with their blinged-out phones, air-bubbled sneakers and spinning-wheeled cars...I NEED FEMA!

Sounds like a walk in the park, cause at the end of the movie the good-guys prevail..this ain't a movie. Day-to-Day, is a struggle...and week-to-week is a this good-guy win :(